Last year was not a good one. Lots of stress from the mill closure in our town and DH working out of town for 5 months while I was working full-time caring for our home, our children and DH's mom who was having lots of issues with long-term care. Then we relocated and since then I've been pretty isolated and of course don't have my usual circle of support as my friends are far away.
So I feel I was handling things pretty well although really I had a 30 lb gain over the last year so not really great but last week when DH had his car accident where he flipped the car back home, I think it was just that little bit too much. He is fine and all is well but I just kept thinking about what could have happened. And its not like it hasn't happened in our lives. My sister died in a car accident in NB and his father was killed in a car accident on the same highway DH had his accident.
Anyhow, all this is to say that this past week, I've been feeling tired and like crying all the time. I've had anxiety and panic and feeling like I'm dying. I always seem to have this feeling of dread, like something bad is going to happen.
Okay having shared all that I know that I am not well, so I have an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow to discuss this all with him which will be weird because I've only ever seen him once since I've moved here six months ago.
I was on antidepressants 3 years ago and I was on Celexa which I loved but made me not care that I was gaining weight. It also had a sexual side effect so I switched to Effexor and didn't like it - I felt sedated which was terrible. I am really hoping that he will offer me something that will work as well as Celexa without any of the side effects. I loved how calm I felt on that. Really was such a relief.
Well I'll see how things go tomorrow. I really loved what someone posted on the WW thread: "If nothing changes, then nothing changes." I thought that was so appropriate. Something needs to change. And I think that if I stop trying to be a hero and take care of this, I should be feeling like myself again soon. :)
3 comments:
Sorry to hear this Seph, but glad you are seeking help. I am thinking this is what happened on the walk from the bus the other day in the extreme cold? I don't have any advice to offer just a big hug. Hope you are feeling better soon.
I'm so glad you are going to take care of yourself.
I hope you and your doc can come up with a plan to help you heal quickly!
Oh Seph! Wow. That is a lot of stress. I can understand how your husband's crash could be the last straw.
I am praying for you.
kb
Post a Comment