Not sure what I'm at!?

And that title pretty well says it all. Not sure where I am at weight-wise. I somehow manage to eat enough calories that nothing has really changed. Funny though is that I can't seem to eat much at one time and instead of leaving it alone, I keep pushing through and eating more frequently but not the right choices. Something I need to work on.

Now I have been struggling with whether I should go to work in the Fall or back to school. My son is going to be in full-time school in September and I was considering going back to school for a 2 year program but based on my purchases the last week or two, I think I am going to need to get into a positive cashflow situation for me. It will also help to pay for the kids extracurricular activities, etc. So now I don't know what kind of work I want. I need to work out daycare in a town where I don't really know or trust people.

I have been housebound for most of the winter. I have become a bit of a recluse mostly because I don't have many friends here and when it is bitter cold out, it is hard to be motivated to go anywhere to meet people. That's why I think work would be good. I have been so frustrated with staying home doing work that is not appreciated and I feel like although it is all necessary to make our family work, I HATE IT!!!!! It is mostly thankless and repetitive stuff that doesn't give me much satisfaction. And if I don't do it, I feel anxious because my world is not in order.

I don't know if it is the beginning of menopause or what but I am really feeling the changes in hormones and I am right wicked at those times.

I don't know what I feel and I feel like no one even cares how I feel. I have everything I need to be happy and yet I feel restless and unfulfilled.

Wow, that is a lot of stuff for today. I think I will dwell on this a bit and perhaps post again soon. Let's see how this goes now that I've typed it outloud.